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Reverb 10

I’ve decided to participate in Reverb10, in which you update every day during the month of December, reflecting back on what the year was like for yourself. I’m a couple days behind so this first post will be a bit of a catch up.

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Relentless.

My God, it was one thing after another this year. Seriously, I have spent probably most of this year a complete emotional wreck thanks to all the upheavals in my life and I am still waiting for things to calm down. I need a vacation. And not the enforced one that being unemployed for two months brought me, oy vey.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I do a lot of things each day that don’t contribute to my writing, and no, I can’t eliminate a lot of them, since they are day-to-day things, like a commute that is triple the time it used to be, a longer work day, etc. I do however have DVR, so it’s not like I can’t turn off the TV, or pause it, and open up the WordPress dashboard on my computer.

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

Picture this: 2:30 a.m. Sunday August 1. The humidity is still shocking and we’re covered in sweat from our walk down the cobblestone street from the bar. Inside it had been loud on the second floor, with strobing lights and so many drinks and my ears are ringing. It has been over two hours since my midnight Bloody Mary and we’re finally leaving downtown San Antonio to head for the 24-hour Taco Cabana. We are walking down the street in front of the Alamo, where it is dark but for the twinkling lights in the trees and the neon signs of the bars on the opposite side of the street. It is quiet except for the murmuring conversation I am having with my friend. “You will find someone else,” I tell her. “Someone who isn’t a lying cheating piece of scum.” Had things gone differently, the day earlier, she would have been married. She has taken off her shoes and is tottering down the street barefoot, drunk. This is why I came to San Antonio; this is why Texas will be a part of me forever: my friends, my dear sweet friends.

December 4 – Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

Can’t say that I felt much wonder this year. I did try some new things, did almost fall off a cliff, did spontaneously fly off to Texas for that weekend, and mostly just tried to survive. Next year, hopefully, I can add a bit of wonder to my life.

December 5 – Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of some people I thought were friends but weren’t (old coworkers). These people really knifed a lot of us in the back, and I can forgive them, but I don’t ever have to speak to them again, either. Letting go of excess baggage in your life is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do.

Tomorrow, sneak peak:

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Self-Awareness Can Only Lead to Self-Improvement

I was looking on Modcloth last night, as my sister had sent her Christmas wish list to me and there was an item on there from that store, and I took to looking at the clothing. I don’t fit in the majority of their clothes (a lot only go up to a large [!]), which I find irritating, but since I don’t have any money anyway, it’s sort of a moot point. Anyway, so I did come across this dress that I really liked:

I think it’s really cute. I like the idea of a chevron stripe being the main visual feature around the neck, and since it’s a knit dress, well hell, I could make that!

I don’t think a worsted weight dress would be a good idea, though, so I would shorten it to hip/tunic length. Also since there’s a ridiculous amount of stockinette, which I find tedious to knit (less so in the round than flat, but still) This would be an ideal candidate for the knitting machine. In theory, I could try my standard machine(s) out for this, but I actually have a random ton of dark dark heathered gray worsted weight yarn which I think would work out pretty well and plus I could use stash for it. As far as the chevron, I don’t know about the colors yet but I’ll check the stash. I’m also not totally clear on technique either: I’d like to try set-in sleeves in the round, but I think I’m leaning towards intarsia for the front chevron, which wouldn’t work very well in the round. At any rate, there would be folded over hems as opposed to ribbings. That part I’m pretty excited about it. I’ve done folded hems on socks but never on a garment before, so I think that will be pretty cool.

As far as what I’ve been up to lately (since I haven’t updated since Mid-October):

  1. HARDWARE: Did you notice that I mentioned standard knitting machine(S)? Yeah, that’s right, I managed to acquire a fully outfitted Toyota knitting machine complete with ribber and punch cards for the low low price of $40 (yes I still owe you Mom, just remind me…) at the Legacy Thrift Shop’s first annual rummage sale! From what I’ve been able to deduce from my interweb research, the Toyota is compatible with the standard Elna machine I already own. SUH-WEET! So if you’re paying attention, that means I now have three knitting machines and am basically turning into my mother with every passing day.
  2. THE CAR: Got the car fixed: my uncle came over and removed some sort of mystery squishy rubber piece from the clutch area that he was baffled by its very existence, let alone what it was doing in my car. No problems since, knock on wood. No really, knock on wood, wherever you are, I need all the cosmic points I can get.
  3. ZOMBIE INFATUATION: I made zombie cupcakes:

    They were fun to make, even if my kitchen is now under a sheen of red food coloring. These are actually red velvet cupcakes. I don’t think I really like red velvet cupcakes – I mean, they are pretty and all, but they don’t really taste like anything.
  4. LOS ANGELES: I went to see my friend Sarah two weeks ago. I took a day off work and drove down to Santa Clarita, listening to talk radio the whole time. It was really interesting to listen to, because that was the week Juan Williams got the heave-ho from NPR and he went on Hannity to talk about it. Once I got to Santa Clarita, Sarah and I went to dinner at New Moon and hung out the rest of the weekend. I even managed to squeeze in a trip to the Super Walmart! I love the Super Walmart! And Sarah. I love Sarah too. *ahem* 😉

One of the main things I’ve been working on in the past few weeks is getting my house back into order. This year has been kind of sucktacular, and I do have a tendency towards “clutter blindness” (and laziness) so I have been trying to get more organized in my day-to-day lifestyle. Last week I spent some quality time decluttering the kitchen, and I also did a small home improvement in my bedroom where I hung a row of hooks for my long necklaces:

…That’s not even all my jewelry, but I am trying to get organized and stay neater. It will be a challenge because I am kind of a slob, and like I said, I do suffer from clutter blindness to some degree, and if there is a flat surface soon enough I will put something on it. I was particularly struck yesterday when my parents stopped by after I’d cleaned up (and out) the den, they basically were all, “WOW.” so it must have been pretty bad, but really I just don’t see it, which I’m working on trying to recognize. Being self-aware is the first step to self-improvement, right?

Anyway, isn’t that rack nice? I got it at Target. It’s hanging where that picture used to. I also had a clock up there, but I moved the clock to another wall, along with a sculpture I made in my ceramics class in college, lo those years ago.

I like that corner a lot better now; it’s improved by the addition of the clock as it adds a little something to the composition of the area, and breaks up the solid blue of the wall.

I’m now working on getting some things framed and up on the walls in other parts of the house. I picked up some velcro sticky things by 3M to use to hang pictures – the wood paneling that makes up every wall in my house is often times hard to get a nail through, but the velcro stuff can hold things up to several pounds so I’m looking forward to finally getting my art collection up. What, I’ve only lived here for two years, isn’t that about the amount of time needed to get your crap together? I can’t believe I’ve already been here that long. And with the economy being the way it is, I bet that I will be here for awhile! AWESOME.

Hey at least I got another job, so I should just shut up.

And someday I really will take photos of the Wollmeise I got and post them. Someday, if the sun ever comes out while I’m at home!

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May the Farce Be With You

Tonight I stopped at my mom’s house so we could go to the Clayton Library book sale. We hurried over there since my mom thought it closed at 6, but as we headed into Clayton, we checked the flyer and it closed at 7. I found some books and we went back to her house where I could pick up the 15 pounds of ground beef I’d be frying up for dinner tomorrow (my mom’s birthday dinner at Jason’s).

So I load up the meat and my books into my car and get in. And my car won’t start. Since I drive a stick shift, you have to press in the clutch and the brake at the same time to start the car. Well, the car doesn’t start so I think, oh I better press the clutch in all the way, and I did (not in any way different than usual) AND SOMETHING SNAPPED. And the car doesn’t start.

Meanwhile, since my mom and I were headed over to Jason’s to get money from him for the birthday dinner supplies as I was going to do the shopping tomorrow at Winco, my mom had sped off, leaving me stranded in front of her house. I fiddle around with the car to no avail, then head inside, thinking to call the car place to see if they were open on the weekends (they’re not).

So I call over to Jason’s, but he’s completely confused by my story, and then I call back a few minutes later and my mom had gotten there, so she comes back home and picks me up (and I’ve hauled the meat back inside to their house) and I get the meat out of their fridge and we head over to Jason’s. She had the great idea that I could borrow his van since he doesn’t use it.

So I stuff the meat into his fridge, and we get the list together of the things I need to pick up at Winco (soda, mushroom soup, etc. etc.) and I get Jason’s keys, and the fifteen pounds of meat, and we go out to the driveway and get into the cars, and while I’m turning the key in his van and hearing the unmistakable clicking of a dead battery, my mom speeds off to their house.

Desperately, I turn the key one more time. CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK

“MOTHEREFFER!!!” I screech to high heavens, staring at the fifteen pounds of meat.

I pick up the fifteen pounds of meat and exit the car, clutching it my bosom as my last lifeline to sanity.

I go back inside Jason’s house with the meat. “WHAT.” He’d be more menacing if he didn’t need a haircut so bad.

“Your car won’t start,” I tell him. “The battery’s dead.”

He doesn’t believe me.

“Really!” I say, as the meat starts to slide. I hoist it up and head back to the refrigerator where I stuff it back onto the shelf.

Phone in hand, I sit down on the couch, sans meat. Pitifully.

I call my parents.

My dad picks up the phone. “HELLO! IT IS MELISSA!” I say.

“Hi,” he says.

I relate to him my pitiful story. I’m starting to think I might have to stay over at Jason’s, given how my day has gone. Or, alternately, desperately clutch the meat to myself while I walk the two miles home through a sketchy neighborhood (I considered it.).

A few minutes later my dad has come to get me, and he says he’ll call my uncle Tom, who knows cars, and maybe he can fix it.

Now I’m finally home, about to have popcorn for dinner, made saltier by my tears of bitterness and betrayal.

Strike 2, car, strike 2.