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WOODCARVINGS BY MY GRANDFATHER

I don’t talk about my grandfather Verne very much but recently we were at my grandmother’s apartment for Easter and she had been given a couple of his old woodcarvings that hung in our old church for many years. Not sure why they were eventually taken down but apparently some asshole over there put them in the garbage and some nice person rescued them for my grandmother. Anyway… I will spare the internet a church-related rant and instead show you these wonderful carvings!

They depict symbolism from the Biblical Gospels and are really pretty great. I kind of wish I’d paid a little more attention to my grandfather’s wood carving skills back when he was still alive but to be honest, we were not very close. So it is nice to see some of his work appear out of nowhere for us to enjoy. In fact, if no one in the family claims them, I would be happy to take them.





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FROM THE DRAFT PILE #1

I have been going through some of my old drafts that I never posted over the years (there are over a hundred) and I think I will post some that I find notable every once in awhile. They date back to 2010. 

This one features my grandfather Jason, who was still alive at the time, and I was in my “gap months” between employment. About a month after this was originally written I got hired at the job I am still at, 7.5 years later. This post, which I don’t remember writing, made me feel bittersweet.

Post Title: You Need to Ensure That
Date: around 7/1/10

I am leading a life of leisure.

Not on purpose. BUT let’s face it, there are some benefits to being out of work and on the dole:

Sleeping late every day!

Last night I went to Jason’s as usual because it was Wednesday and we all go over there and have dinner. Jason even remembered not to eat before we all got there, so that was nice.  When I got there, my uncle Joel was already there mowing the lawn. And when I got inside, Jason said, “What are you doing here?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, plopping on the couch. “It’s Wednesday. Time for my usual mooching of dinner.”

“It’s Wednesday?” Jason seemed perplexed. Then he thought about it a little more and sort of remembered that my mom was bringing over dinner.

“Did you eat?” I asked. The last two weeks he had forgotten we were coming over and had already eaten.

“No,” he said.

“Good.”

Jason is 83.

My mom eventually showed up with the dinner, a hot-weather meal of grilled ham-n-cheese, applesauce, and macaroni salad. I still look at macaroni salad suspiciously, even ten years later. Even my mom’s. But mostly I am suspicious of my other grandmother’s macaroni salad. It is delicious. But I now check the mayo bottle in the fridge for expiry dates every time I’m over there. Lest I land in the hospital with food poisoning and randomly get diagnosed with a 25 pound tumor again.

I digress.

So then my cousin and aunt show up (the rest of Joel’s family) and we had dinner. Jane brought me a cake for my birthday which is on Monday, balloons, and presents! I wasn’t expecting all that, so that was really nice.  They got me movie tickets and my cousin even got me a Starbucks card.

Then my mom started talking about going to Costco because Jason needed some more paper plates and napkins, and since I like Costco and don’t belong to it, I said I would like to go with her. I like the free samples.

My mom takes Jason to the doctor now, and the doctor said he was getting pretty skinny, so told him that he needed to start drinking Ensure every day to get the calories. You can get Ensure at Costco for pretty cheap.

So this morning, having slept late, and still in my pajamas, I get up and am in the den checking my email when my mom pulls into the carport. It’s like, a little after ten.

I had completely forgotten that I said I would go with her to Costco.

But, I was ready to go in a few minutes and we headed over there. It was pretty busy, but I guess it is a holiday weekend (Melissa’s Birthday Extravaganza Weekend; it’s a national holiday).

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2011: 1/3 Gone

Since I last posted on the 8th ( a MONTH ago), I was STILL SICK for almost another week, and went to Disneyland with Abby. On the 9th, my mother came by the house for a "fitting" (she was making me a shirt) and took one look at me and was like, "I am going to buy you drugs, lots of drugs," because apparently I looked like Death Warmed Over or something. But she got me some Robitussin and Airborne, which really helped with my recovery – on Sunday I was able to go to Jason's for one of the final family meetings (to take possession of what artwork was to be salvaged; as family archivist I will be photographing each item carefully prior to redistribution) and I was able to pick up a few other things from the house. My house is now a total disaster of Nice Family Photographs and Nice Family Paraphernelia that I need to find homes for. Sigh. Well, it's been a total disaster since approximately January 5th anyway, so whatever.

Anyway, so then after that I was FINALLY starting to feel better after 2 weeks of the plague (for which I blame coworker Christopher, *shakes fist*) which I was starting to get worried about because Abby and I had our Big Plan to drive down to Anaheim for 2.5 days of Disneyland adventuring. Luckily was pretty much fully recovered by the time we left at 6 a.m. on Thursday. Why so early? Well, I wanted to stop at Sarah's for lunch so I could meet her new baby David! David is completely adorbs and I got my requisite baby cuddles in – and unlike the first time I met his big bro Will, David did not explosively poop all over me! (Yay!) Hee. Anyway, Will is three now (oh how time flies!) and he actually remembered me, I have once again become "Lissa" to a small child, which just fills up my heart (I love hearing my name come from a small kid, is that weird?). Sarah dressed up both kids in nerd wear I got for them – the Star Wars onsie for David and the robot tee for Will. I'm enjoying my role as fake auntie to these boys, buying them all the cute stuff I can! I try to avoid toys, as they have more than enough, but I do like buying cute little boy clothes for them, and books.

We went to lunch at Denny's not far from Sarah's house, where Will wanted to sit by me, and he passed out grapes to us all. This amused Abby, who had not met Sarah's kid(s) before, and Will was climbing all over us before settling down for lunch. Ah, three. Great age! (Can you tell I don't have kids.)

So, after that we headed down to Anaheim, stopped at Walmart for sunscreen (and I found awesome fit-over-your-glasses sunglasses – SO stylin', hahaha!) and checked into the hotel, the Ramada directly across from the entrance. Where I discovered that I had not brought my bag of shoes, and had, stupidly, worn my Chucks down in the car as "travel shoes"; they are not very good walking around shoes for me. I so should have worn my regular sneaks but for some dumbass reason I did not. ANYWAY so what we had to do was go buy me new shoes. UGH. So we headed down into Anaheim proper and located a Payless where I found a nice pair of flip flops. The Payless was right across from a CVS, where Abby popped in and bought me some Blister Block or whatever – it's made by Band-Aid. You apply it to areas that may be forming blisters, and darned if it doesn't work! (I kind of wonder if it would work for thigh rub, which would solve a big part of my I-Hate-Wearing-Dresses situation. TMI? Oh well.)

After that, we finally headed over to Disneyland! Or rather, California Adventure, where we picked up our picnic lunches that came with Fast Pass Tickets to the World of Color…

I described the show to Malvina as "The Bellagio Fountains on Disney Crack" which seemed apropo. I would have enjoyed it more if the night hadn't gotten inexplicably cold, so when the middle section full of FIRE happened, I was appreciative of the added warmth, hah. But it was pretty cool, and definitely worth your time if you're a big Disney fan (I am not, as I have mentioned before I am a DisneyLAND fan, which I realize doesn't make a lot of sense but whatever.)

The next two days were spent gallivanting around the two parks and trying not to get blisters. The blister block worked like a charm; I was so glad.

I managed to get on Tower of Terror twice before Abby had had enough of that ride (it's one of those herky jerky zero gravity rides, oh how I love it! After the first ride I squawked, "Again! Again!" and Abby obliged, but refused to go on after the second ride. I could have ridden it ALL DAY, I am telling you. Though nothing compares to my and Sam's epic four-times-in-a-row adventure a few years ago, haha).

Abby and I discovered the Bug's Life section of CA Adventure, which I don't recall having been to before. I photobombed her picture of herself while in line for Heimlich's ride (you sit in the body of a caterpillar).

I want you all to take a moment to admire my super sassy old man sunglasses that fit over my actual glasses. I know you are jealous of my untouchable style. Also note fluorescent shirt and margarita.

Anyway, trying to get back on the blogging horse here – I met my friend Amy's brand new baby Colten a couple weeks ago and I also attended the first ever gourmet food truck event in Sacramento last weekend. Finally, I survived another family tragedy this week.  I unfortunately lost my other grandfather this week. You can read the obituary here, if you'd like. We were lucky enough to celebrate Easter with him before he wound up in the ICU the very next day with sepsis. Once I found out what sepsis was, I realized it was only a matter of time before we lost him.

So that's been the last month in a nutshell. More frequent postings soon, I promise.