PALEO / CLEAN MEATLOAF BURGERS RECIPE

For many years my family has cooked the classic meatloaf recipe that my grandfather Jason always made. He got it off the back of an oatmeal canister if I recall correctly. I’ve always loved meatloaf but hadn’t made it too much in the last couple of years because it’s full of oatmeal (grains) and canned milk (dairy) – two things I now try to steer clear of.

Anyway, so since January I’ve been trying to come up with a clean recipe that would essentially taste the same and I’ve finally hit on it. Recently I wanted meatloaf but didn’t want to wait an hour plus for it to bake in the oven so I formed it into patties and cooked them on the stove. The recipe wound up being very similar to my turkey burgers recipe. Recipe below plus notes on how to adapt for regular meatloaf.

Served with roasted asparagus, oven fries, and a mandarin.

CLEAN MEATLOAF BURGERS

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb 80/20 Ground Beef (can use any type but 80/20 is more tasty)
  • 1/2 cup finely chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup almond flour
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp pepper
  • 1 egg

Directions:

Combine all ingredients together in the large non-stick pan you will use for frying (this saves on messing up another bowl to clean later). Make sure all ingredients have been thoroughly combined, then form into 4-6 patties depending on how big you make them. Fry on either side for about 6 minutes each until patties reach 160° F internally.

For a classic meatloaf: Add 1/4 cup additional almond milk to ingredients, combine thoroughly, then press into meatloaf pan (or shape into meatloaf in 9″x 13″ pan), cook for 60-75 minutes in pre-heated 350° F oven until temperature reaches 160° F internally. Remove from oven and let sit for 10-15 minutes, slice and enjoy.

Goes great with: Whole30 mayo, marinated onions, ketchup. We often pair meatloaf with “Jason Noodles”, which is medium egg noodles seasoned with butter, Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, and garlic powder to taste. Note that this option is not compliant under Whole30 or Paleo guidelines, lol. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying it from time to time though!

RECIPE: TURKEY BURGERS (or: the saga of the mushroom powder)

About a month ago I had been left to my own devices for a few weeks because everyone I knew besides coworkers was out of town, and I wound up at Whole Foods (as one does) to look for the Nom Nom Paleo stuff that was supposed be sold there. She has a couple of products in the butcher section and her magic mushroom powder, which I was interested in because every review I read said it was truly magical.

<I will be the judge of that>

So, they didn’t have it. They had the signs for it but no product. So, normally I would have been kind of put out by this as I don’t live near any Whole Foods and had driven across town to WC (on a Sunday!!) so it was disappointing but the butcher guy helped me out and was super nice and they had frozen dragon fruit packets in the freezer section which I was pretty stoked about so it wasn’t a fruitless (haha) endeavor.

While I was there, I saw that they carry dried porcinis which the recipe calls for. So, I decided to get those and make the recipe myself. I have a Vitamix now so I knew I could pulverize the mushrooms into the fine powder the recipe needs.

I was very excited about this little project and I went home and ground up the mushrooms. I opened up the Vitamix after it was done and was welcomed by a cloud of awful smelling powder.

I mean, that stuff smelled like cat food.

Like the way canned cat food smells when you open up the can.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I am not a pet person for a variety of reasons but I do thank my lucky stars I don’t have to deal with that particular odor on a regular basis. So, you can see how I would be kinda horrified by the scent of the very expensive mushrooms smelling EXACTLY (to me, anyway) like cat food.

With a heavy heart, I made the recipe but thought to myself that it was a waste of money and spices.

A couple of days later I was making chicken in the Instant Pot and wanted gravy but not mushroom soup gravy because I am trying to eat cleanish. I thought about the mushroom powder and was like, well, I guess I could try making a roux with that and some almond flour and the bone broth from the chicken… Why I thought this would be worth doing I don’t know. I don’t really have advanced gravy skills. But I kept thinking about all those articles I read where they were praising the mushroom powder and its umami flavors. I mean, I use deadly smelling fish sauce in Thai cooking and that’s the same sort of thing. Maybe the mushroom powder worked the same way.

I opened up the container I’d placed it in and was like, ugh, still smells like cat food. But, I made a roux and eventually thinned it down with the broth, and you guys:

That was the best damn gravy I have ever made in my life.

I couldn’t get over it. And I hadn’t made very much so it was gone in a flash. A couple of days after that I was planning on making turkey burgers and thought, well, now I know the mushroom powder is okay so let’s try putting it in the turkey burgers.

Those were the best damn turkey burgers I have ever made in my LIFE.

I make an excellent (ground beef) meatloaf from my grandfather’s recipe but it’s not paleo. So I have been experimenting with turkey burgers and meatballs to fill that hole for times when I’m eating less beef.

Here is the recipe. I’ve had several people try them now and the verdict is in: they’re delicious.

  • 1 lb ground turkey
  • 1 T magic mushroom powder (linked above)
  • 1/2 cup almond flour
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 cup onion, minced
  • handful of spinach, de-stemmed and cut up small

Squish everything together and make sure it is well blended together. It will be kind of wet – this is okay. Form into 4-5 patties (depending on how big you want your patties) and fry on a non-stick pan over medium heat. About 5min each side – cook until nicely browned and the internal temp reads 165º F.

Then, enjoy! You could get nice buns and make regular burgers out of them, but they are so tasty that you can eat them plain on their own. I just eat them on their own with delicious sides.

A lone turkey burger awaits its fate (in my belly)
with tater tot sides and purple cauliflower
with acorn squash, potatoes, cauliflower, and homemade mushroom soup

You’re welcome.

Smoothie Obsessed

I missed Fitness Friday last week because I was busy taking part in a pool tournament with the office. I’m terrible at pool but this time I managed to actually get a ball in a pocket! A correct ball that belonged to my team! It was the best game of pool I’ve ever played. People who have skillz at pool would laugh at my attempts, but I managed to hit the the cue ball each time and all in all wasn’t totally terrible. I was, it shall be confessed, fairly, erm, inebriated. (*ahem*)

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about getting a smoothie maker. One of my coworkers has the Nutribullet (as seen on TV!) and loves it. I looked at the reviews and it seemed okay… just kind of expensive. But I figured with a coupon to Bed Bath & Beyond it would be around $85 which is doable.

Except that I was at Walmart on Saturday buying an extraordinary amount of boring-yet-necessary things (toothpaste, toilet paper, kitchen trash bags, etc.) and I thought I’d look and see if they had Nutribullets since another coworker mentioned they had them there. I wasn’t going to get it because of the whole use-a-coupon-at-BBB thing but I wanted to look at them.

Anyway, I didn’t see it, but that’s only because I was distracted by the same sort of machine (single serve smoothie maker) that was only $20, the Farberware 17-piece Rocket Blendersmoothieblender

It comes with five big cups and one little one, plus lids and lip guards, two different blades, etc. It’s only one speed but I have to tell you, I’ve made a couple of different smoothies using different ingredients that came out nice and smooth! My biggest concern, since I’m sensitive to food textures, was that it blend everything up so it’s not chunky. This worked great.

It didn’t take me very long to make one this morning before work, so that’s nice. It helps that I have everything ready to go and I stopped at the farmer’s market yesterday and picked up some spinach, nectarines and blackberries (and a cheese zombie). I also picked up some frozen mixed berries and strawberries. I actually dislike strawberries and berries in their berry form due to their texture, but I like jam and other berry-by-products, so I figured I wouldn’t mind them blended out. And – it’s true. I made a smoothie with blackberries this morning and it was really good.

Here’s the recipes I’ve done so far. None of these contain banana, as I hate banana (in every iteration):

Spinach/Nectarine/Grape/Yogurt Smoothie

Handful of spinach (probably about a cup)
Half a bunch of red grapes
1 yellow nectarine
1 vanilla Yoplait
Little bit of water

Cut up the nectarine into smaller pieces. Blend, enjoy.

Spinach/Nectarine/Blackberry/Yogurt Smoothie

Handful of spinach (probably about a cup)
1 white nectarine
Blackberries (I dunno, probably about 20)
1 blueberry Yoplait
Little bit of water

Cut up the nectarine into smaller pieces. Blend, enjoy
This one I had kind of a lot of stuff to blend so I put the spinach, blackberries, and part of the cut-up nectarine into the cup and blended that first, then added the rest of the stuff (including the yogurt) after, making sure it didn’t exceed the max-fill line.

Tonight I plan on making a tropical smoothie – I got some fresh pineapple, oranges, and coconut milk! I also got some almond milk to use for liquid in berry based smoothies… I’ve never tried it so I hope I like it. :/

So far I’ve just been making spinach based smoothies so I get some good healthy stuff in me. Eventually I’ll probably branch out to kale and other greens, but for now, spinach it is. I’m also interested in berry-only drinks and mixing up the ingredients. I don’t have any peaches right now, but peaches, pears, and raspberries are on my list of fruits to squish. I’m not really interested in apples.

The yogurt really helps add to the consistency of the smoothies. Right now I only have Yoplaits because that’s my yogurt of choice, but I will eventually branch out to Greek yogurt, which I also like for the most part. It’s nice and thick, though I’m not sure if it comes in a big tub, which I would prefer, and I’ll have to look for. I’ll probably branch out to Safeway brand yogurt, which I know comes in a tub and tastes okay. I hate Trader Joe’s yogurt, but they’re good for fresh and frozen fruit, not to mention spinach, etc.

And thus begins the smoothie adventure!