PALEO / CLEAN MEATLOAF BURGERS RECIPE

For many years my family has cooked the classic meatloaf recipe that my grandfather Jason always made. He got it off the back of an oatmeal canister if I recall correctly. I’ve always loved meatloaf but hadn’t made it too much in the last couple of years because it’s full of oatmeal (grains) and canned milk (dairy) – two things I now try to steer clear of.

Anyway, so since January I’ve been trying to come up with a clean recipe that would essentially taste the same and I’ve finally hit on it. Recently I wanted meatloaf but didn’t want to wait an hour plus for it to bake in the oven so I formed it into patties and cooked them on the stove. The recipe wound up being very similar to my turkey burgers recipe. Recipe below plus notes on how to adapt for regular meatloaf.

Served with roasted asparagus, oven fries, and a mandarin.

CLEAN MEATLOAF BURGERS

Ingredients:

  • 1 lb 80/20 Ground Beef (can use any type but 80/20 is more tasty)
  • 1/2 cup finely chopped onion
  • 1/2 cup almond flour
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1/4 tsp pepper
  • 1 egg

Directions:

Combine all ingredients together in the large non-stick pan you will use for frying (this saves on messing up another bowl to clean later). Make sure all ingredients have been thoroughly combined, then form into 4-6 patties depending on how big you make them. Fry on either side for about 6 minutes each until patties reach 160° F internally.

For a classic meatloaf: Add 1/4 cup additional almond milk to ingredients, combine thoroughly, then press into meatloaf pan (or shape into meatloaf in 9″x 13″ pan), cook for 60-75 minutes in pre-heated 350° F oven until temperature reaches 160° F internally. Remove from oven and let sit for 10-15 minutes, slice and enjoy.

Goes great with: Whole30 mayo, marinated onions, ketchup. We often pair meatloaf with “Jason Noodles”, which is medium egg noodles seasoned with butter, Lawry’s Seasoned Salt, and garlic powder to taste. Note that this option is not compliant under Whole30 or Paleo guidelines, lol. Doesn’t stop me from enjoying it from time to time though!

RECIPE: TURKEY BURGERS (or: the saga of the mushroom powder)

About a month ago I had been left to my own devices for a few weeks because everyone I knew besides coworkers was out of town, and I wound up at Whole Foods (as one does) to look for the Nom Nom Paleo stuff that was supposed be sold there. She has a couple of products in the butcher section and her magic mushroom powder, which I was interested in because every review I read said it was truly magical.

<I will be the judge of that>

So, they didn’t have it. They had the signs for it but no product. So, normally I would have been kind of put out by this as I don’t live near any Whole Foods and had driven across town to WC (on a Sunday!!) so it was disappointing but the butcher guy helped me out and was super nice and they had frozen dragon fruit packets in the freezer section which I was pretty stoked about so it wasn’t a fruitless (haha) endeavor.

While I was there, I saw that they carry dried porcinis which the recipe calls for. So, I decided to get those and make the recipe myself. I have a Vitamix now so I knew I could pulverize the mushrooms into the fine powder the recipe needs.

I was very excited about this little project and I went home and ground up the mushrooms. I opened up the Vitamix after it was done and was welcomed by a cloud of awful smelling powder.

I mean, that stuff smelled like cat food.

Like the way canned cat food smells when you open up the can.

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

I am not a pet person for a variety of reasons but I do thank my lucky stars I don’t have to deal with that particular odor on a regular basis. So, you can see how I would be kinda horrified by the scent of the very expensive mushrooms smelling EXACTLY (to me, anyway) like cat food.

With a heavy heart, I made the recipe but thought to myself that it was a waste of money and spices.

A couple of days later I was making chicken in the Instant Pot and wanted gravy but not mushroom soup gravy because I am trying to eat cleanish. I thought about the mushroom powder and was like, well, I guess I could try making a roux with that and some almond flour and the bone broth from the chicken… Why I thought this would be worth doing I don’t know. I don’t really have advanced gravy skills. But I kept thinking about all those articles I read where they were praising the mushroom powder and its umami flavors. I mean, I use deadly smelling fish sauce in Thai cooking and that’s the same sort of thing. Maybe the mushroom powder worked the same way.

I opened up the container I’d placed it in and was like, ugh, still smells like cat food. But, I made a roux and eventually thinned it down with the broth, and you guys:

That was the best damn gravy I have ever made in my life.

I couldn’t get over it. And I hadn’t made very much so it was gone in a flash. A couple of days after that I was planning on making turkey burgers and thought, well, now I know the mushroom powder is okay so let’s try putting it in the turkey burgers.

Those were the best damn turkey burgers I have ever made in my LIFE.

I make an excellent (ground beef) meatloaf from my grandfather’s recipe but it’s not paleo. So I have been experimenting with turkey burgers and meatballs to fill that hole for times when I’m eating less beef.

Here is the recipe. I’ve had several people try them now and the verdict is in: they’re delicious.

  • 1 lb ground turkey
  • 1 T magic mushroom powder (linked above)
  • 1/2 cup almond flour
  • 1/2 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 cup onion, minced
  • handful of spinach, de-stemmed and cut up small

Squish everything together and make sure it is well blended together. It will be kind of wet – this is okay. Form into 4-5 patties (depending on how big you want your patties) and fry on a non-stick pan over medium heat. About 5min each side – cook until nicely browned and the internal temp reads 165º F.

Then, enjoy! You could get nice buns and make regular burgers out of them, but they are so tasty that you can eat them plain on their own. I just eat them on their own with delicious sides.

A lone turkey burger awaits its fate (in my belly)
with tater tot sides and purple cauliflower
with acorn squash, potatoes, cauliflower, and homemade mushroom soup

You’re welcome.

WHOLE30 #4 AND WHY I KEEP DOING THESE

Some of my favorite Whole30 meals I cooked in January

I’m currently on Day 11 of my fourth Whole30 and the last couple days I’ve been questioning my sanity. At this point, I generally know what foods are not my friends, but it’s still good to reorient, especially after a vacation in which there may or may not have been cake available practically 24/7.

***To be honest, it’s actually not that hard to stay healthy on a cruise. Yes, you can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. I don’t drink that much, so a few beverages over the course of a week (I think I bought four plus had some at the wedding reception) was really my main concession to ridiculous behavior. At our meals, I made the attempt to always have some sort of salad or veg, and often stuck with meats and potatoes and the like. I honestly don’t think I ate a single noodle!

Anyway, so after traveling through the Caribbean and having a (birthday) month of not eating so great, I knew that a summer Whole30 was in the cards in order to get myself back on track. I’ve found that doing these every six months or so has been very beneficial to my mental health because even though last weekend I wanted to eat ALLLLL the Pop Tarts, I generally have a sunnier disposition and am less crabby when I’m eating clean and healthy. Which – hmmm. 😉

So some of the things that I’ve learned while doing these include the following:

  • Milk and liquid dairy (sour cream, half&half, etc) are in generally not my friends. I seem to be able to eat cheese in general, in particular everyone’s favorite processed cheese, American… and cheddar. I don’t miss milk at all as I stopped drinking it years ago but I was definitely worried about cheese!
  • I do better when I eat low FODMAP as that seems to affect bloating and stomach pain. The things I’ve noticed that affect me are Brussels sprouts (*sob*), cauliflower when eating a lot of it (*sob* x 2) and a fair amount of fruit (no big deal, I don’t love fruit). I am still experimenting with this as there are a lot of items on the high FODMAP list that do not affect me such as beans, but definitely processed wheat products.
  • Bread and processed wheat products can be my enemy. Not all bread, but some. I find it gives me heartburn and sometimes contributes to stomach issues. I in general do not eat much bread in my day-to-day life and have not for some time, but I also have cut back on noodle products and am trying out various gluten-free noodles with mixed results. Gluten-free noodles are kind of lame. I don’t necessarily think I have a problem with gluten, I think it’s the processing and possibly the type of wheat we use here in the US, but since I have no immediate plans to go to Europe to test my hypothesis on the different strains of wheat, I shall continue to endeavor. 😛
  • Sugar… eesh. I generally don’t have a lot of it in the house but I do love chocolate and I especially love fruit gummy candies, and I SUPER heart So Delicious Cashew Milk ice cream. And coffee creamer. I have mostly been able to wean myself off sugary coffee creamer but I do love my sugary coffee beverages so much. :/
  • I absolutely ADORE munching on things like crackers and chips (inc. plantain chips) and this is a habit I need to try to break. I mean, it’s as simple as not buying these things but a salad is not a snack to me, nor is fruit. Crunchy things are! (I’ve never really been a nut person.) :/
  • Rice and corn have no effect on me and I shall continue to eat them if not with abandon, then with relish.

It’s good to know what affects me and what my weaknesses are. I am still working on my so-called “food freedom” and it will continue to be a work in progress. But I improve every day (hey, didn’t eat those Pop Tarts, right? …only because I couldn’t find them, tbh… still that’s a win!) so who knows where I’ll be in a year.