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This is not the end it is only a new beginning

PROLOGUE:

I hella updated my real actual website last week. Check it out! There’s actually a couple of new drawings in there too. It’s still futzy and I’m not totally done with it, but considering it took me like an hour and it was offline for three years, that’s just dumb.

NOW:

Friday was my last day at the job that I have both hated and loved over the last several years. Right now, I’m simply burnt out. I will miss most everyone there but… I need a break. I’ve needed one for a long time, actually.

By lunchtime my cube was super empty! Anybody who knows me in real life knows that I am not a very neat person, but dammit those piles had meaning and organization within them! (You should see my house. Even I am noticing the mess, which is saying something. Should I really be admitting my untold slobbery on the internets? Sure, why not. Still, it’s about 100% better than my wee apartment back in Texas… probably since my house is about 3 times as big. Can you imagine all my STUFF in 468 square feet? Me neither and I actually experienced it. Yikes.)

This week I am going to take it easy and enjoy being off work. I filed for unemployment because I don’t have a job lined up yet (still! ugh!) but hopefully will find out about that soon.

I let myself spend a little bit of post-employment monies and what I got myself was the new Vogue Stitchionary #5, for lace knitting. I don’t have any of the other vogue books, but this one is definitely worth it. I also downloaded myself the fabulous Intwined Pattern Studio, which is a pattern writing/charting program. I first saw it at Stitches West, and I really should have gotten it then (especially since I was wishy washy about buying anything there) but it’s only now that I’m ready to start writing my own patterns.

Here’s an example of what you can do with the program. I’ve only had it since Saturday and I already put several charts into it, including the below Barbara Walker, and will soon work on translating some of the charts from my Japanese books, which I will then write into sock patterns.

Nice, huh? The program itself is only $44 and WELL worth the money I would say. There is also an active group on Ravelry where you can report bugs and whatnot and the actual developers are there to help you out. I have not experienced any problems with it, however, so that is pretty nice.

Here’s some pics of what I’m currently working on. Keep in mind I took these photos at 11:30 p.m. and therefore absolve myself of any particular artistic flava.

wipmosaic

Clockwise from top left we have: Alpaca Blob (a v-neck grandpa cardigan I’m making for myself; it will even have pockets for me to hold tissues and chapsticks), Snow Petals Socks in Fleece Artist Merino 2/6 Pumpkin colorway (awesome AWESOME pattern, and it’s only $1.99 to boot! You can get it via Ravelry or Knitpicks), The Infamous Rainbow Socks (Knitpicks Felici rainbow self-striping; get it while it’s hot, it’s apparently already on “last chance” and dudes, I just made my order a couple weeks ago), and the last blue cuff thing is a test on the above mentioned chart. I like how the lace looks but not in that yarn so I suspect that’s going to the frog pond sooner rather than later.

EPILOGUE:

Anyway, in news that makes me feel like an old, old, OLD person (countdown to the big 3-0, 34 days and counting), my wee cuz the Bean has received her drivers license today and it seems like only yesterday I was fishing fuzz and spiders out of her wee baby mouth. Kid is practically an adult! She’ll be a senior in high school next year! WHAT.

If I remember I’ll write about the Legacy thrift store next time. A thrift store that only has craft items! You will be amazed at what eight bucks and change can buy you.

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JOBPOCALYPSE 2010 PART 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

I would like to thank everyone for their comments and support. It’s been a horrible couple of weeks. Possibly a couple of the worst weeks in my life. (And I had a cancer scare! So… yeah, this has majorly sucked!) Knowing who is there for me is so important you don’t even know. (Or, maybe you do!)

I have actually had this entry saved over the last week and I have been making changes to it regarding all the things that have happened, and then my internet broke on Wednesday, so let me tell you, I have been really up and down emotionally. People at work all were acting ridiculous and awful and you could practically cut the tension in the office with a knife.

However, by today things really looked up; everybody was talking to each other again and the air had been cleared for the most part. Then, since I had to go home to wait for the internet technician to come fix my internet, I was actually in the right headspace and took the initiative on a job opportunity – I sent my resume to another company in my industry and even followed up with a phone call – and I ALREADY have a phone interview on Monday! This person I sent my resume to asked my manager about if any support staff would be interested in interviewing, so I decided to suck it up and send an email, and there you go. I mean, I don’t know how it will go, but at least it will be a step in the right direction to take control back in my life – and that is enough for me.

Maybe my yelling at the universe on Wednesday (which I think is what broke my internet, hah) actually WORKED. Not that I recommend that, because, hey, God broke my internet as “a sign”. Um, yeah, I think I got it, thanks. And I guess I grudgingly appreciate that. I GUESS.

In conclusion, don’t mess with the powers that be or they will mess with you.

Lambtown

Someday, when I’m on my farm in the middle of nowhere (but with working internets and sweet satellite cable and a flock of alpacas like the one above), I will look back on these weeks and laugh. And then probably have to step back from the dark clouds that will surely strike me down with a swift bolt of lightning.

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SEA CHANGE

Yesterday I found out that my company is shutting down on May 31.

I never really talk about my job much because it really is a more-or-less joyless experience and while I like the people I work with, I don’t really like my job.

But I HAVE a job. For two more months anyway. I was hoping that we’d still be around for at least another year to allow the economy to get back on track and whatnot. The owner of the company is at retirement age and we had speculated that things would shut down but not so soon. We also thought that if things were to end, the company would be sold and we’d retain our jobs, but I guess attempts to sell the company didn’t work out.

It really sucks. I mean, I live in the SF Bay Area and the unemployment here is way worse than in the rest of the country at something like 12%. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I have a mortgage. Sigh.

I don’t have a car payment anymore though (thank God for small favors, I guess).

Mostly my worries are monetary in nature, just like they’ve always been. Just when I start saving money and have a nice little nest egg, I have a teeth problem. Or…move across the country. Or… get retired.

The thing is… I never really meant to stay in this job this long. But I got comfortable and I got a raise and you just let life go along and don’t really think too hard about the whole thing.

Until, of course, it comes on by and bitchslaps you back into reality.

For a long time – a year or more – I have felt really stifled in my day to day life. So stuck and in a rut. I’m not in a creative field; my degree is going to waste, and I haven’t drawn anything in, honestly, years. Doodles here and there or a commission but not for pleasure and not for lack of want. I’ve also been talking about getting an Etsy shop started up to sell my jewelry and possibly woven scarves. Maybe this is my chance.

It’s funny – last week I was bitching on Twitter about how I thought 2010 was going to be a crappy year… I should have known better than to tempt fate!

But in all honesty, I’m okay.  Things will be fine. I’m also still in shock, processing all this, so I don’t really know how everything will play out. But, you know, life goes on. Yesterday I was pretty cool with everything but today I’m just… really… mad.

I didn’t think I’d be unemployed for my 30th birthday though.

This too, shall pass.