Category: real life

I would like to thank everyone for their comments and support. It’s been a horrible couple of weeks. Possibly a couple of the worst weeks in my life. (And I had a cancer scare! So… yeah, this has majorly sucked!) Knowing who is there for me is so important you don’t even know. (Or, maybe you do!)

I have actually had this entry saved over the last week and I have been making changes to it regarding all the things that have happened, and then my internet broke on Wednesday, so let me tell you, I have been really up and down emotionally. People at work all were acting ridiculous and awful and you could practically cut the tension in the office with a knife.

However, by today things really looked up; everybody was talking to each other again and the air had been cleared for the most part. Then, since I had to go home to wait for the internet technician to come fix my internet, I was actually in the right headspace and took the initiative on a job opportunity – I sent my resume to another company in my industry and even followed up with a phone call – and I ALREADY have a phone interview on Monday! This person I sent my resume to asked my manager about if any support staff would be interested in interviewing, so I decided to suck it up and send an email, and there you go. I mean, I don’t know how it will go, but at least it will be a step in the right direction to take control back in my life – and that is enough for me.

Maybe my yelling at the universe on Wednesday (which I think is what broke my internet, hah) actually WORKED. Not that I recommend that, because, hey, God broke my internet as “a sign”. Um, yeah, I think I got it, thanks. And I guess I grudgingly appreciate that. I GUESS.

In conclusion, don’t mess with the powers that be or they will mess with you.

Someday, when I’m on my farm in the middle of nowhere (but with working internets and sweet satellite cable and a flock of alpacas like the one above), I will look back on these weeks and laugh. And then probably have to step back from the dark clouds that will surely strike me down with a swift bolt of lightning.

Yesterday I found out that my company is shutting down on May 31.

I never really talk about my job much because it really is a more-or-less joyless experience and while I like the people I work with, I don’t really like my job.

But I HAVE a job. For two more months anyway. I was hoping that we’d still be around for at least another year to allow the economy to get back on track and whatnot. The owner of the company is at retirement age and we had speculated that things would shut down but not so soon. We also thought that if things were to end, the company would be sold and we’d retain our jobs, but I guess attempts to sell the company didn’t work out.

It really sucks. I mean, I live in the SF Bay Area and the unemployment here is way worse than in the rest of the country at something like 12%. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I have a mortgage. Sigh.

I don’t have a car payment anymore though (thank God for small favors, I guess).

Mostly my worries are monetary in nature, just like they’ve always been. Just when I start saving money and have a nice little nest egg, I have a teeth problem. Or…move across the country. Or… get retired.

The thing is… I never really meant to stay in this job this long. But I got comfortable and I got a raise and you just let life go along and don’t really think too hard about the whole thing.

Until, of course, it comes on by and bitchslaps you back into reality.

For a long time – a year or more – I have felt really stifled in my day to day life. So stuck and in a rut. I’m not in a creative field; my degree is going to waste, and I haven’t drawn anything in, honestly, years. Doodles here and there or a commission but not for pleasure and not for lack of want. I’ve also been talking about getting an Etsy shop started up to sell my jewelry and possibly woven scarves. Maybe this is my chance.

It’s funny – last week I was bitching on Twitter about how I thought 2010 was going to be a crappy year… I should have known better than to tempt fate!

But in all honesty, I’m okay.  Things will be fine. I’m also still in shock, processing all this, so I don’t really know how everything will play out. But, you know, life goes on. Yesterday I was pretty cool with everything but today I’m just… really… mad.

I didn’t think I’d be unemployed for my 30th birthday though.

This too, shall pass.